I’ve been going through a bit of a shit phase at the moment. I wouldn’t say I’m unhappy but I’m definitely not 100% satisfied with my life.
It probably comes across as really ungrateful; I have a great job that’s flexible and pay’s decent, I have an amazing group of people around me and I get to go on lots (though not enough) holidays and explore the world. But despite all of that, I’m not where I want to be in life. Nor am I living the life I really want to be living.
The thing is I know some people would love my life and think it’s great. So do I most of the time. It’s just those few days a month where I really reevaluate everything I’m doing and it makes me sad.
What I Want In Life
I previously wrote a post about what I’d do if I was rich and I’m not necessarily wanting to be a millionaire – yet that’d be great – I just want to live simply, comfortably and be secure mentally, physically and financially. That, and I don’t want every minute of my existent to be dictated by work.
I understand that working life inevitable. Unless you’re given a load of money, it’s a necessity to get a job to pay the bills, afford a house and so on. Yet, surely your entire life shouldn’t revolve around work? I feel like that isn’t too much to ask, yet I’m often told by older people that I’m from the “snowflake generation”. This basically means I’m too soft and sensitive about everything in life and can’t hack hard work, banter and whatever. I believe that’s a load of nonsense.
The World Is Changing
The thing is, the world of work is evolving. We’re seeing the rise of the social influencer, YouTuber and so on and working life isn’t as strict anymore. Maybe it’s because I’m an avid social media user not just in my personal life but for work purposes too, I see so much of this amazing, traveller, blogger lifestyle that I feel envious of their world. (I mean of course I do, but at the same time, is it all just a big show?)
I’m not asking to make a career from promoting brands on my Instagram. I just want to be as happy and free as I can be, whilst earning a decent wad of cash to pay my bills, see this amazing world we live in and occasionally buy new clothes.
I’m 20 years old and the world is my oyster. Though that saying seems to be something teachers just nail into your brain throughout high school and college when really, it’s a lot more limited than this idea of “limitless possibilities”. (Or am I just lazy and blind to it all?)
the whole point of this post was to say that no matter how down you’re feeling, it’s ok. You’re not alone. My Instagram might look cool with posts from my recent holiday trips – it’s nothing compared to some people – I’m going through shit too.
If you’ve read my first blog posts, you’ll see that I mentioned my battle with anxiety. Thankfully, that’s finally getting a lot better! However, even though it’s improving, there are other elements of my life that need changing and I’m working on it.
Just remember that whether you’re happy or not, if you work on yourself and the things that are putting you down, may that be your career, friends or whatever else, you’ll get where you want to be.
It’s ok not to be ok.